I was labeling some breast milk this morning and when I wrote the date, I knew the date was significant, but I couldn’t remember why at first. I eventually remembered that today was Ian’s due date. I never had a huge attachment to the date because I was never going to go later than 39 weeks, and now the thought of things happening any differently with him seems strange.
It’s amazing how different life is now. Exactly 11 months ago was the day before Jillian’s due date, and it was one of the worst days of my life. The anticipation ended up being worse than the actual day, but it makes my stomach hurt to think about how sad we were. Now that I’m thinking about it, I wonder how Jillian’s due date will be this year. I have been feeling some sadness when I see pictures of internet friends’ kids who were due around the same time as Jillian and are approaching their first birthdays. Having Ian here takes away most of the sting, thankfully. I don’t know what we’d do without him.
Ian is still doing well. He’s getting fat rolls on his thighs and his cheeks are chubbier every time I look at him. It’s still amazing to see how much more alert he is every day. One of the proudest moments of my life happened yesterday after he’d been staring at my necklace at various moments through out the day and he eventually reached out and grabbed it. I then made fun of myself for thinking this was the most amazing accomplishment in history even though it’s obviously nothing miraculous. Then again, I don’t think there’s a word more appropriate than “miraculous” when it comes to watching your own child grow.
Time is just going so fast. I’ve been giving him as many kisses as I possibly can, partially because I know eventually, he won’t let me. Or as Dave puts it, he won’t be as defenseless. He wore a 0-3 outfit for the first time yesterday. It was a little big but he wasn’t completely swimming in it. He still fits into his newborn clothes, but their days are numbered. I can’t imagine that eventually there will be a time when I look at his newborn clothes in disbelief that they ever fit him. Right now, I look at 6 month clothes and can’t believe he’ll ever be that big. I’m sure the day they fit will be here before I know it.