Seriously, seriously overdue update

I’ve been meaning to update here for almost 3 months now, but basically, if it isn’t a living creature, I’ve been neglecting it. Well, except our one plant. That’s been neglected. And probably can’t be considered a living creature anymore.

Hannah Marie was born on March 11. She’s wonderful. She’s adorable and beautiful and we are so in love. When we moved to our current home last year, I set a goal that for our next baby, I was going to walk to my scheduled c-section (the hospital is about a 5 minute walk from here). It was more about making it to my scheduled c-section than being able to walk, and I did it.

It didn’t go completely without a hitch, but nothing major. Hannah didn’t cry as soon as she came out, and when she did, she sounded like a dying cat. I knew something was wrong from the way she sounded, and it turned out to be some fluid in her lungs, which she worked out within a few hours under the oxygen hood. Looking back, it’s kind of funny how the pediatrician came over and very gently told me that they would be taking her to the NICU for observation. I may have cut him off when he started explaining what the NICU was. My OB said later she was impressed with my restraint when I didn’t scream at him about how very familiar I am with what the NICU is.

It was more disappointing than worrisome, really. This was going to be my one chance to have a baby in recovery with me, and that didn’t happen, but really was no big deal. She was back with us after a few hours and the rest of the stay was uneventful.

My uterus proved to not be holding up too well and my OB was relieved in hindsight that we scheduled the c-section for when we did. The pediatrician on call from our practice was less than thrilled that Hannah was intentionally born at 36w6d, but things could have gotten very dangerous very quickly if I’d gone into labor, so I’m glad we did it then. The fluid in her lungs had nothing to do with that and could have happened at any point, so I wouldn’t change it.

So things are good. I didn’t prepare myself for how emotional having another girl would be, but I’m not sure how I would have done that if I’d thought to do it. There have been moments when I walk up to Hannah when she’s sleeping and have been totally taken aback by how much she looks like Jillian. It’s bittersweet. They looked so similar at birth that I feel like I know what Jillian would have looked like as she grew.

Ian has been amazing with her. I was worried that he was going to have a hard time with going from the center of the universe to being half the center of the universe, but it doesn’t seem to have fazed him. He has his moments, for sure, but I think that has more to do with being a 2-year old than getting a baby sister. He’s so helpful and sweet with her. He did tell us to put her back when he first met her, but he quickly came to adore her.

So things are wonderful. Not too long ago, I was certain I’d never feel anything but emptiness ever again, and that’s certainly not the case. There are still moments of sadness, of course, and Jillian will always be missed, but things are good.