Five months

Dear Jillian,

I can’t believe it’s been five months already since you were born. Daddy and I are hanging in there, but we still miss you so much that it hurts our hearts. We talk about you every day, think about you constantly, and still talk to you all the time.

I had a pretty rough weekend. Well, it was a great weekend because I was with some friends that I love very much, but one of them has a baby who was born two weeks before you. She is such a sweet baby, and I loved every second I got of holding her and playing with her, but at one point, it hit me that I should have been at home tickling your belly and telling you what a pretty girl you were. Thankfully, my friends were very supportive and understanding, but it’s still tough.

While I was traveling, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Aidan’s mommy, Maggie. We had such a good visit and it was so nice to know that we could say whatever we wanted knowing that the other would understand and wouldn’t be uncomfortable. I was lucky enough to see a picture of Aidan, and he was gorgeous. I’m thinking you already know this, because I know in my heart you’re playing together and taking care of each other.

I got a new pendant for my necklace this weekend. It’s a tiny key, and I put it next to the little urn I wear. The card the key came on reads “Memories are like treasures. They are always there to appreciate, and only become more valuable with time. Wear your necklace as a reminder that your most joyful moments live forever in your mind.” How true that is.

I miss you so much, Monkey. Even though I feel like we’re learning to live this new life without you and we’re coping as well as we possibly can, I still can’t believe you’re gone. ¬†We love you more than anything, Jillian.


6 thoughts on “Five months

  1. Hi Meg, I’m glad you guys are doing well. That’s wonderful that you got to spend some time with Maggie! It helps so much to be able to spend time “in real life” with people who understand.

  2. Thinking about you. I sent you a card that I hope gets there on Saturday. Love you.

  3. Your necklace sounds beautiful, and I’m so glad that you are able to remember Jillian with your DH. We all are thinking of you!

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