A very good update

I’m pregnant. 12 weeks pregnant, to be a little more specific. We had the very good luck of getting pregnant our first cycle trying this time. It was hard not to think that it was about time we caught a break on something, but on the other hand, I’ve spent over eight weeks waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My cerclage was placed yesterday. That was fortunately pretty uneventful. Being pregnant again has been, well, interesting. It’s been scary, but not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I’ve realized that I still love being pregnant, which I thought was never going to be possible again. Even so, being pregnant is very bittersweet. Experiencing another pregnancy, especially one that has felt very much like my pregnancy with Jillian, has made me miss her even more than I already do. There is a tiny part of me that feels like I’m betraying her, even though I know she would never think that. It’s also difficult to remember that the baby is not her, especially during ultrasounds.

As we’ve started telling people our news, we’re learning that a lot of people suspected I was pregnant, partially because I haven’t been blogging as much. I actually have been updating pretty regularly, but those posts have all been set as private. I’ll unlock them, but there’s not much to them, aside from me being scared about bleeding and stuff (I had a subchorionic hematoma that was causing bleeding and spotting for several weeks).

So, the news is finally out. We’re thrilled. Scared, but thrilled, and trying very hard to be optimistic. We are very much in love with this baby. We want nothing more in the world than for Jillian to be here with us to share in our happiness, but in a way, I know she is. Yesterday during the procedure, I started crying a little as I was looking around the operating room and remembering Jillian’s birth. Suddenly, my heart started feeling very warm and I knew my sweet girl was there. She’s an amazing angel.

30 thoughts on “A very good update

  1. Congrats!
    I was hoping that your absence was because you were pregnant. I will be sending good vibes your way! Our family doctor lost her twins at 23 weeks and then got pregnant in their first time trying again. She delivered a healthy full term baby this past March! She had cerclage as well and did very well with it. Congrats again!

  2. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I am so so happy for you and I hope and pray that you have an uneventful pregnancy and you get your take home baby 🙂

  3. Yay!!! Huge congratulations to you hon.. and I can’t imagine how hard it must be to keep positive all the time. But you’ve got the best guardian angel you could possibly hope for. I’m so thrilled and excited for you!!

  4. Congratulations! This new life has something that Jill did not- an older sister watching over her. I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly, and that you continue to feel the presence of your angel watching over her little brother or sister.

  5. Congrats to you! Being pregnant after a loss is a strange and scary road. I wish you the best!

  6. Congrats to you & your husband. I’ve been following your blog since the very beginning. I check back often to find this post here & I just can’t stop smiling for you. I am beyond happy & so excited for you. Jillian is looking down & smiling…

  7. I have followed your blog, and Jillian’s story. I’m also on TB and lurk on BOTB frequently. You are such an amazingly strong woman, and I am so happy for you to be expecting again. I pray for you often and know that your little angel is looking after you and her baby brother or sister. Congratulations, GC, and best wishes during your pregnancy. H&H 9 months!

  8. omgomgomgomg! Congratulations!!! I literally just yelped and my eyes teared up! My husband was wondering what happened, haha! I am soooooooo happy for you!!!!

  9. I knew it! 🙂 Congratulations and I’m so happy for all of you! Praying for a smooth, uneventful pregnancy……XOXO

  10. Congratulations! I remember December 5, 2009 – I was just a couple weeks ahead of you and my heart ached for you and now its filled with excitement for you. I hope you enjoy every moment!

  11. OH Megan!! CONGRATULATIONS! I am so, so, so, so happy for you it’s unreal. I was really hoping that this was the reason why you asked if someone else could take over the late loss check-in posts on the board, but I didn’t want to say anything. Congratulations again, you guys SO deserve this.

  12. Congratulations to you and Dave! I will be praying for a smooth journey. There are many of us @the old job that think of you often.

  13. Congratulations to you and Dave. That is awesome!! Heres to a very happy and healthy nine months!!!

  14. I got chills and tears when I read your first sentence! Congrats!! I have been following your story and find you to be very inspiring.

  15. I just read your entire blog and am inspired by your courage and love! I am SO happy to read this post and am excited to keep reading! congratulations!

  16. I’m so happy for you both, Megan, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts all the time. Wishing you happy and healthy!

  17. You don’t “know” me, but I’ve been following your story via TB. I’ve been bursting to tell you how incredibly happy I am for you and Dave. I’m wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy x 2309403984! I’m keeping you in my thoughts!

  18. I just want you to know that I just cried the biggest, fattest happy tears for you. I know I’m just some random internet stranger…but my heart has been quite wrapped up in your honesty and the beauty you wove into the life of jillian…and I’ve never been more happy for anyone.

  19. I haven’t been here in ages (sorry) but saw your FB pix, congrats! Sending lots of love your way!

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