We picked up Jillian’s remains today. I can’t decide if it was harder or easier than I imagined it would be. Either way, this wasn’t how I imagined bringing her home.

Right now, we’re just focusing on getting through the next two days. I guess that’s how we’ve been functioning for the past 15 days, but the holiday makes it even more difficult.

Thanks for all the comments yesterday, and every day. I was in an especially dark place yesterday when I wrote that, and the comments help bring me out of that. I know I have a long way to go. I’ll get there, though.

6 thoughts on “Remains

  1. Oh Megan – you and Dave are in my thoughts everyday.

    I know you are an incredibly strong person but I am glad to know that everyone is sending their support as you and Dave can definitely use it!

    It is very touching that you share your deepest thoughts with everyone.

    Your sweet little angel will be in my prayers!

    Love always, Sachiko

  2. That is such a hard thing to do – my husband went into the funeral home while I sat in the car to get Maddie's urn, because I just couldn't do it at the time. I hope that it was something that helped you towards healing.

    I hope that having Jillian close to you is healing for you. 24 weeks out from losing our little one, I still hold her urn and talk to it every day. I think everyone has different rituals and practices, but I hope that you find one that brings you close to Jillian. Hugs and prayers for you.

  3. I can't begin to imagine how difficult today was for you. It's certainly not the way you imagined spending this Christmas. Thinking of you both.

  4. I'm so sorry, can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

    I will be thinking about you

  5. I remember the conflict I felt when picking up Jonathan's remains. Sending hugs and prayers for peace.

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