Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes. It means so much to Dave and me, and I’m sure Ian feels like a little rock star right now.
It felt like it took forever for me to get down to see Ian. I felt a million times better after spending time with him. He’s pink, he looks relaxed, and he was getting lots of rest. We were able to do his mouth care/temp/diaper routine, which was the first highlight of my day. We never got to do any of that with Jillian, so it meant a lot. He wasn’t a big fan of any of it, and he made sure we knew. His furrowed brow makes me feel bad because he is obviously unhappy when he’s doing it, but it’s so perfect and adorable that I can’t help but love it.
While we were there, one of the doctors from Jillian’s stay came over to say hi. He introduced himself and I mentioned that we’ve met before. He then acknowledged that we had, which made me think he was letting me take the lead on whether we’d address that. He commented on how well Ian is doing and how different this experience will be. He mentioned that they were going to start weaning Ian off the CPAP. That’s obviously a big step, but I also knew it might mean I wouldn’t get to hold him today because we don’t want to overwhelm him. That’s okay though.
While we were there, my peri came in to visit. I’m not sure if she was in the hospital anyway or not, but I was shocked to see her. We talked about the delivery and how much trouble the doctor had removing the cerclage, and then she left. Ian’s nurse’s jaw dropped as my doctor walked out. She said she thought she was my sister or something and that I am a very lucky person to have a doctor like her. I agree. She’s been amazing for the past several months.
We came to my room for some rest and went back down a little bit ago. As we entered the NICU, the doctor mentioned that Ian was doing even better. We got to his bedside and I could finally see his sweet little face because the CPAP was gone. It makes me so nervous to know he’s breathing on his own (even though he’s constantly monitored), but being able to really look at him was amazing. I’m starting to think he actually looks like my other little brother.
Then his nurse asked if I was ready to hold him. Obviously. We got all situated and she placed him in my arms. I melted. He’s perfect. As soon as someone dimmed the lights, he opened his eyes and looked right at my face. It was one of the most perfect moments of my life. He then spent the rest of our snuggle time looking back and forth between Dave and me, and it seemed like he was fighting to stay awake. I eventually had to give him back because we all need to rest, especially because today has been so eventful.
I’m almost afraid to post this because it seems like things are going too smoothly. Obviously that’s a great thing, but Dave and I are both terrified to acknowledge the progress. Hopefully things will keep getting better. We don’t have any idea how long he’ll be here, and we’re both too scared to ask. I think it all depends on how the next few days go. We’ll see.