Tuesday morning

Ian had another great night last night. We went down for his feed time early this morning and tried breastfeeding again. It was a thousand times better than it has been. He stayed on one side for 5 minutes, but then he was off and on the other side for about 45 minutes. He tends to fall asleep, so I don’t know how much he ate, but I’m feeling so much better about it.¬†

He should be on full feeds at midnight tonight, which means his IV can come out. While this is fabulous and it means one less tube, it also means one more grabby hand. I’m pretty sure I can never wear glasses, necklaces, or earrings again. Once he has the eating thing down pat, he’ll be moved to the intermediate nursery and in an open air crib. Today’s nurse said that this transition happens pretty quickly, so hopefully he’ll “graduate” before we know it.¬†Other than that, we’re just hanging out and getting to know each other. We did kangaroo time for the first time yesterday afternoon, and it was pretty much the best hour of my life. He was so snuggly and comfortable.

I’m being discharged tomorrow, and to be honest, I can’t freaking wait. It will be really hard not being only an elevator ride away from him, but fortunately we live really close to the hospital. If we hadn’t been through our experience with Jillian, I’d probably be a hysterical mess about going home, but we see leaving our baby in the NICU in a whole new light after leaving our baby in the morgue last time. We’ll still be here all the time, but just the thought of getting to sleep at night without having my vitals checked every few hours, hearing doors opening and closing, listening to beeping machines, being woken by helicopters, and hearing other people’s babies cry kind of makes me a little teary eyed. Of course, our animals probably won’t let us sleep after being deserted for five nights.

Oh! One other thing that Dave kept telling me to post that I kept forgetting about: Ian’s name. Some people have thought that his name being the last three letters of Jillian’s name is a coincidence. It was actually totally intentional. At some point after Jillian died, somebody sent me a text about her that got cut into two messages. I got the second part first, so I read a message that said something about Ian. I couldn’t figure out who Ian was, and then I got the first half of the message and realized what had happened. I thought, hmm, we could name a boy that if we ever have one. So we did. We tried another name first, but it didn’t stick. Ian just felt right.

8 thoughts on “Tuesday morning

  1. I love the story about Ian’s name! Even though it wasn’t completely intentional, I still think it’s sweet that he shares part of his sister’s name. I am so happy for you guys, I feel like crying every time you post :).

  2. That is such a great story about Ian’s name. I love that he and his sister will be connected in that way. I am so happy for you guys!

  3. What a beautiful name connection! I love it!!

    Being discharged and leaving the kids in the NICU was hard, but I remember feeling better physically once I could sleep in my own bed. We could call 24 hours a day and I spent most hours there, so it was fine. But hard, nonetheless, to not be so close.

    So glad Ian is doing so well!!!

  4. Congratulations on your new baby boy! I love the story about his name and I think it is a wonderful connection between your children. I hope that Ian continues to do well and that he will be home with you very soon. Take care and congrats again!

  5. What a fantastic connection in his name, that is beauty. I am glad today continued to be a positive step forward. I hope that your protected post does not contain any bad news, I only want the best for you!!

  6. Your story on Ian’s name gave me chills — what an incredible way to honor his big sister. I am so glad he is doing well. I wish the absolute best for you and your family!!

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