Ian had another great night last night. We went down for his feed time early this morning and tried breastfeeding again. It was a thousand times better than it has been. He stayed on one side for 5 minutes, but then he was off and on the other side for about 45 minutes. He tends to fall asleep, so I don’t know how much he ate, but I’m feeling so much better about it.
He should be on full feeds at midnight tonight, which means his IV can come out. While this is fabulous and it means one less tube, it also means one more grabby hand. I’m pretty sure I can never wear glasses, necklaces, or earrings again. Once he has the eating thing down pat, he’ll be moved to the intermediate nursery and in an open air crib. Today’s nurse said that this transition happens pretty quickly, so hopefully he’ll “graduate” before we know it. Other than that, we’re just hanging out and getting to know each other. We did kangaroo time for the first time yesterday afternoon, and it was pretty much the best hour of my life. He was so snuggly and comfortable.
I’m being discharged tomorrow, and to be honest, I can’t freaking wait. It will be really hard not being only an elevator ride away from him, but fortunately we live really close to the hospital. If we hadn’t been through our experience with Jillian, I’d probably be a hysterical mess about going home, but we see leaving our baby in the NICU in a whole new light after leaving our baby in the morgue last time. We’ll still be here all the time, but just the thought of getting to sleep at night without having my vitals checked every few hours, hearing doors opening and closing, listening to beeping machines, being woken by helicopters, and hearing other people’s babies cry kind of makes me a little teary eyed. Of course, our animals probably won’t let us sleep after being deserted for five nights.
Oh! One other thing that Dave kept telling me to post that I kept forgetting about: Ian’s name. Some people have thought that his name being the last three letters of Jillian’s name is a coincidence. It was actually totally intentional. At some point after Jillian died, somebody sent me a text about her that got cut into two messages. I got the second part first, so I read a message that said something about Ian. I couldn’t figure out who Ian was, and then I got the first half of the message and realized what had happened. I thought, hmm, we could name a boy that if we ever have one. So we did. We tried another name first, but it didn’t stick. Ian just felt right.