Some people just need to stop talking

I went to the dentist today. I was supposed to go a couple of months ago, but I rescheduled it because I didn’t feel like going and explaining everything. I planned on telling whoever called to remind me of the appointment what happened with Jillian so I wouldn’t have to explain it in person, but nobody called to remind me and I completely forgot about it until last night. I had knots in my stomach because I didn’t want to have to explain it in person. My appointment wasn’t with my usual hygienist, which caused even more anxiety about going. I cried on the way there because I was so nervous.

As I was walking into the room, the hygienist asked if there have been any changes to my health since my last appointment. She apparently didn’t pick up on my lack of huge pregnant belly (I looked at my chart while she was taking my x-rays to be processed, and my EDD was the last note written on there). I took a deep breath and started to say, “I had my baby prematurely and she only lived for four days.” Instead, I only got out “I had my baby” before the hygienist interrupted me to exclaim her congratulations. I closed my eyes and said, “she died.” The hygienist said, “oh, I’m sorry,” like I’d just told her I’d stubbed my toe on the way in.

She then cheerfully asked me if I did anything fun for Valentine’s Day. Seriously, woman? I just told you my baby died and you want to chat about what I did for a piece of crap fake holiday? I should have answered truthfully, which would have been that I moped around the house all day because there’s no point in celebrating Valentine’s Day when my heart is missing, but I just said “no” and hoped she would shut up. Instead, she expressed sympathy for my lack of a nice dinner out or any other “fun” things. She was sorrier about that than she was about my dead baby.

I hate people sometimes.

15 thoughts on “Some people just need to stop talking

  1. How did you not throat punch her? I had a dentist appointment on Thursday before I had Aidan and the hygenist was like any new medical conditions? I looked down at my belly and was like ummm yeah. Then Chris had an appointment on Friday and I'm so happy that he was the one that explained what happened. I would have been like you, terrified of seeing them and telling them.

    Wow, sorry didn't mean to ramble in my comment.

    <3 Maggie

  2. Maggie, I avoided it the same way I avoid beating people regularly: I remind myself that I would not survive jail. 😉

  3. Oh, Megan, I know how you feel – I had a dentist appt about a month after losing Maddie, and it was just horrible. Most doctors' offices have the info, but the dentist doesn't. I'm so sorry – I hope that she realizes how her attitude affects others.

  4. Haha, I love your comment about not surviving in jail. What a biotch… I seriously just keep reminding myself that unless the person either had this happen to them OR is close to someone that this happened to, they just do. not. get. it. I guess that's probably giving people too much credit sometimes, because I know that I would never have been so un-compassionate before this happened to me. People who work with the general public should have to go through some kind of sensitivity training!

  5. Meg, you give me the number of that dentist's office and I will rip them a new one.

    I cannot believe some people. How cruel and ignorant. 🙁

    Big hugs, darling. xoxoxo

  6. crazy people. ugh. they're just ignorant of how to deal with situations like that. i don't think that kind of loss is even real to people who haven't been around it or experienced it firsthand.

    when i lost max, delivered at 21 weeks, i was in a HUGE hospital. (tripler army medical center.) and they moved me all over the place trying to avoid putting me in the mommy baby ward. but there were some seriously idiot nurses- "OH you delivered yesterday/last week/whatever where's your baby?" smiling faced idiots. i had to explain SO MANY times that he'd died, that i was only 21 weeks. it got So old. after a few situations like that my husband ran interference for me.

    i think that's the reason i didn't leave my house for months. i was afraid of seeing people who didn't know what'd happened, that i'd have to explain it again and again.

    you're a strong and brave woman! keep remembering how bad jail will be. 🙂

  7. I'm so sorry you went through that! I have been avoiding the dentist because I'm afraid of a scene like that. I just can't understand why people don't know how to express genuine concern! I had a similar experience with one of the nurses at my IVF clinic. I may as well have just told her I had a hang nail. I agree, some people do just need to stop talking!

  8. You're right, you are way too pretty for jail. Also, it's not worth you're energy to beat up idiots that will never learn. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and I agree, give me that dentist's number and I'll give them a piece of my mind as well.

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