Something happy

I’ve always been a dog person, despite the current evidence (two cats). We have been talking for years about getting one, but it hasn’t been possible. We couldn’t have one in our old apartment, and I was pregnant when we moved here, and we didn’t want to get a dog with the baby on the way.

After Jillian died, the dog conversation started up again, but we were hesitant to get one. I was afraid I’d resent the dog and think of it as a consolation prize. I also knew that getting a big dog would make it a little crowded in here, and I didn’t have any interest in a small dog. I figured that if we were going to get a small dog, we might as well get another cat instead, because then we wouldn’t have to walk it.

Then we met this guy:

I fell in love immediately. He became attached to me so quickly that there was no way we could leave the Humane Society without him. I think Dave and I both knew walking in that we were going to leave with a dog, because we’ve never gone into an animal shelter and walked out empty handed, but I didn’t expect to hold him and immediately think of him as my dog. He doesn’t have a name right now. He was called Benny at the shelter, but we want to change it.

My fears about resenting a dog or thinking of one as a consolation prize are gone. In my mind, there’s no connection between this dog and Jillian. If I really think about it, I know that if Jillian hadn’t died, this dog would not be here, curled up next to me, but that’s not what goes through my mind when I look at him. I just see a little dog who was desperate for love and has already made himself right at home.

16 thoughts on “Something happy

  1. Oh. Emm. Gee. I love him. So stinking cute! I'll be anxious to know what name you settled on…
    And I left you some love on my Fashionista blog…

  2. I'm a new reader of your blog. I haven't experienced a loss like yours, but I had the same worries after we got our puppy shortly after my second miscarriage. I'll be honest, there was one day where I thought – I wanted a baby, not you dog. That was a serious low point, and I take it back. My dog saved my sanity these last 6 months.

    I love your new doggy and I hope he brings lots of joy into your home. 🙂

  3. About a month after the unexpected death of dear friend, I got a dog. She helped me get through the loss by just being there and loving me.

  4. In this picture he looks like he could be crossed with Miniature Pinscher. What do you think?

    You already know the joy that animals bring and right now you need joy in your life so that's what he will be for you.

    Can't wait to hear his name and how he's getting along with the girls.


  5. I'm so happy you have brought some love and happiness to this little pup. HUGS He looks just like he belongs there indeed.

  6. We did think Miniature Pinscher but I think he might be a little big for that, especially if he's crossed with a chihuahua.

    Both cats seem very curious about him, but Nudge is terrified of him. Jasi might kill him if we give her the opportunity, although it's going a lot better than it did when we got Nudgie. She was fine last night but I think she realized this morning that he's staying.

  7. He is adorable!!! I just want to take him home with me!!!

    Oh, and you have some awards over on my blog. ::HUGS::

  8. Thanks, KC. I need to do a post for the awards but I've been putting it off. I think I'll make that my goal for this week. 🙂

  9. Hi Honey!!! LOVE LOVE the new doggie! I can’t wait to come up and meet him. BTW, Southwest just started flying Philly to Boston again and for real cheap. I will definitely plan a spring trip. Oh, and I’m very new to the blogging world, but you get every award imaginable in my book! Keep those daydreams about the future going. You are making so much progress and I am proud of you.


  10. First of all I’m glad I found you again, don’t want to lose touch again. Second, he is a doll. Good luck with the puppy.

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